My Children Belong to Me
When two involved parents choose to dissolve their marriage, they face the task of creating a new family structure from what had existed before. The new family structure involves creating a sharing arrangement that allows children to continue to grow up in two homes. The structure may also involve participation by relatives, counselors, and other involved adults and their children as well. Nonetheless, a parenting plan will be developed to put the new structure into a written form.
The Florida legislature states: It is the public policy of this state that each minor child has frequent and continuing contact with both parents after the parents separate or the marriage of the parties is dissolved and to encourage parents to share the rights and responsibilities, and joys, of childrearing. There is no presumption for or against the father or mother of the child or for or against any specific time-sharing schedule when creating or modifying the parenting plan of the child.
A difficult part of this task is that it is sometimes difficult to develop this new structure and also maintain a sense of fairness, open mindedness, and respect for the prior family arrangements that were working for the children. Parents are often working thru their own strong feelings about the ending of the marital relationship when they are called upon to disclose personal information to their counsel. Sometimes the professionals in the case will make statements to the effect that a parent should be “objective” and “logical” despite not having the most complete conception of what has been going on in the marriage prior to the break up. Thus, some parents feel put upon and embarrassed to speak their minds about time sharing and risk being looked upon by the Court and others as being “unreasonable” or “narrow-minded.”
For a wide variety of reasons, the Florida Legislature has revised the family law and has done away with “labels” of primary residential parent”, or “secondary residential parent.” One result of this movement is to liberalize the kinds of possible time sharing arrangements available to divorcing parents. The Legislature wishes for the creation of a parenting plan for the minor children to be authored by the parties and their counsel, and the Court (if necessary.)
The law actually states: A parenting plan approved by the court must, at a minimum, describe in adequate detail how the parents will share and be responsible for the daily tasks associated with the upbringing of the child; the time-sharing schedule arrangements that specify the time that the minor child will spend with each parent; a designation of who will be responsible for any and all forms of health care, school-related matters including the address to be used for school-boundary determination and registration, and other activities; and the methods and technologies that the parents will use to communicate with the child.
The Court will always use the “best interest standard” in determining what it will approve, except that future modification of a parenting plan and time-sharing schedule requires a showing of a substantial, material, and unanticipated change of circumstances.
The parties are expected to co-parent the children and the courts shall order that the parental responsibility for a minor child be shared by both parents unless the court finds that shared parental responsibility would be detrimental to the child.
Evidence that a parent has been convicted of a misdemeanor of the first degree or higher, involving domestic violence, may bar that parent from shared parental responsibility. A convicted parent carries a higher burden of proof that she or he should share in parental responsibility of her or his children. Whether or not there is a conviction of any offense of domestic violence or child abuse or the existence of an injunction for protection against domestic violence, the court shall consider evidence of domestic violence or child abuse as evidence of detriment to the child.
Where parents are unable to settle such issues, the court may consider the expressed desires of the parents and may grant to one party the ultimate responsibility over specific aspects of the child's welfare or may divide those responsibilities between the parties based on the best interests of the child. Areas of responsibility may include education, health care, and any other responsibilities that the court finds unique to a particular family.
It is rare, but occasionally, the court will order sole parental responsibility for a minor child to one parent, with or without time-sharing with the other parent if it is in the best interests of the minor child. The facts supporting such a determination would have to be substantial.
In instances where Parents did not settles their differences and enter into an agreed upon parenting plan, the court is equipped to construct such a plan and impose its terms on the parents.
The law provides:
For purposes of establishing or modifying parental responsibility and creating, developing, approving, or modifying a parenting plan, including a time-sharing schedule, which governs each parent's relationship with his or her minor child and the relationship between each parent with regard to his or her minor child, the best interest of the child shall be the primary consideration. A determination of parental responsibility, a parenting plan, or a time-sharing schedule may not be modified without a showing of a substantial, material, and unanticipated change in circumstances and a determination that the modification is in the best interests of the child. Determination of the best interests of the child shall be made by evaluating all of the factors affecting the welfare and interests of the particular minor child and the circumstances of that family, including, but not limited to:
(a) The demonstrated capacity and disposition of each parent to facilitate and encourage a close and continuing parent-child relationship, to honor the time-sharing schedule, and to be reasonable when changes are required.
(b) The anticipated division of parental responsibilities after the litigation, including the extent to which parental responsibilities will be delegated to third parties.
(c) The demonstrated capacity and disposition of each parent to determine, consider, and act upon the needs of the child as opposed to the needs or desires of the parent.
(d) The length of time the child has lived in a stable, satisfactory environment and the desirability of maintaining continuity.
(e) The geographic viability of the parenting plan, with special attention paid to the needs of school-age children and the amount of time to be spent traveling to effectuate the parenting plan. This factor does not create a presumption for or against relocation of either parent with a child.
(f) The moral fitness of the parents.
(g) The mental and physical health of the parents.
(h) The home, school, and community record of the child.
(i) The reasonable preference of the child, if the court deems the child to be of sufficient intelligence, understanding, and experience to express a preference.
(j) The demonstrated knowledge, capacity, and disposition of each parent to be informed of the circumstances of the minor child, including, but not limited to, the child's friends, teachers, medical care providers, daily activities, and favorite things.
(k) The demonstrated capacity and disposition of each parent to provide a consistent routine for the child, such as discipline, and daily schedules for homework, meals, and bedtime.
(l) The demonstrated capacity of each parent to communicate with and keep the other parent informed of issues and activities regarding the minor child, and the willingness of each parent to adopt a unified front on all major issues when dealing with the child.
(m) Evidence of domestic violence, sexual violence, child abuse, child abandonment, or child neglect, regardless of whether a prior or pending action relating to those issues has been brought. If the court accepts evidence of prior or pending actions regarding domestic violence, sexual violence, child abuse, child abandonment, or child neglect, the court must specifically acknowledge in writing that such evidence was considered when evaluating the best interests of the child.
(n) Evidence that either parent has knowingly provided false information to the court regarding any prior or pending action regarding domestic violence, sexual violence, child abuse, child abandonment, or child neglect.
(o) The particular parenting tasks customarily performed by each parent and the division of parental responsibilities before the institution of litigation and during the pending litigation, including the extent to which parenting responsibilities were undertaken by third parties.
(p) The demonstrated capacity and disposition of each parent to participate and be involved in the child's school and extracurricular activities.
(q) The demonstrated capacity and disposition of each parent to maintain an environment for the child which is free from substance abuse.
(r) The capacity and disposition of each parent to protect the child from the ongoing litigation as demonstrated by not discussing the litigation with the child, not sharing documents or electronic media related to the litigation with the child, and refraining from disparaging comments about the other parent to the child.
(s) The developmental stages and needs of the child and the demonstrated capacity and disposition of each parent to meet the child's developmental needs.
(t) Any other factor that is relevant to the determination of a specific parenting plan, including the time-sharing schedule.
So, it is always a good sign when parents can amicably participate in the emotionally sensitive task of creating a parenting plan that will fit the facts and support the children. However, if parents desire for the court to resolve one or more of these issues and create a parenting plan for them, then they must be aware that very clear factors and principles will be applied to their specific set of facts in a dispassionate manner and they should reflect on how they think the court might view the facts in the case and how the court may perceive their positions so as to avoid foreseeable disappointment should they propose a parenting plan that, while making them feel comfortable, is not necessarily in the best interest of the children.
Remember, it is actually you who belong to your children. You may wish to dedicate yourself to trying to live up to their expectations. After all, they surely love, and are loved by more persons than just yourself, such as: another parent, step-parents, relatives, and other interested persons. Your children deserve reasonable access to the benefits of that love.
